Why do all good things come to an end?

Well, this past weekend I've had some time to think and to really evaluate where I was going in life and how I wanted to handle the current situation I'm in, and this is what I've realized:

I will survive. As much as it hurts and as much as I feel like my heart is being ripped from my heart everytime I get hurt, life goes on. With each passing day, it gets better. The pain lessens. I've learned to block the memories out of my head for now, until I can look back and be grateful for the memories I do have instead of longing for them back. I've learned that in order to learn how to love, you must hurt and get hurt, to know what it feels like to lose someone who is important to you and to not take them for granted.

I've never been big on church or God, but I do believe that this experience is changing me for the better. As much as I wish I wasn't in this postion, I'm going to one day look back on this and be grateful I had this experience because I am discovering myself.

I've always heard that if you put your trust into God that he'll work things out for you. When I hit what I believe is rock bottom (so far in my life), I didn't know where else to turn but to God. Since then, my outlook on life has changed. I realize that I can live without a guy, I just have to adjust to my current situation. I believe God is doing this for a reason, that there is a purpose for this pain. Maybe Ben was sent to me to take me away from my relationship with Mike, and now that Ben's "job" is done, we have to move in different directions to find the better things in store for us. I believe that Ben and I broke up so I can be readily available for a person who is right for me. I guess Ben and I just weren't right for eachother.

Don't get me wrong, it still hurts like hell and I'm still upset about the situation. However, I'm dealing, I'm moving on, and I firmly believe that I'll make a speedy recovery from my broken heart. My emotions are like a rollercoaster; one day I'll be positive and one day I'll be down in the dumps. The good thing is that positive days are coming more frequently now, and it's getting easier. God really has been helping me since I put my faith and trust in him that he'll do the thing that's best for me. I just have to live my life and try and be the best person I can be and things will work themselves out.

As much as I want Ben back and I want another chance to prove to him I am a good person with the ability to make him happy and set things right, I almost think if I was given another shot I'd turn it down because he's changed, he's hurt me more than I could have ever fathomed, and I just can't believe the person he's turned into. I guess it's just another life lesson for him. All I can do is be there for him if he ever needs to reach out to me, and if he doesn't, then I'll be moved on. I'm going to start making myself happy, stop regreting what I could have, should have, would have done and start living my life. I'm going to start missing opportunities if I keep dwelling on this.

He's a great person, he really is. But right now, he's stuck in the college life. I did some partying in high school, and he didn't. I got it out of my system then and I'm ready to move on past that. It's just not my thing. And I just have to realize that he's experiencing all the things I already have, and it's something he has to do. If we were meant to be, then we'll end up back together someday. If not, at least we shared some great memories and he helped me get over a differend hard time in my life, and I'm grateful for that.

Life goes on, it really does. I'm moving on, and nothing has felt better than over powering emotions I thought I would never get rid of.


"Flames to dust, loves to friends, why do all good things come to an end?"
Because there is something even better in store.